1. |
Boys Don't Cry
05:12
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i watch your feelings grow
were all the same
i take your hand in mine
i felt that shame
boys dont cry
i will be
what you want me to be
i will be
what you ask for
youre not like me
youre not like my intentions
painted on the wall
youre not like me
youre not as simple as me
or jealous as i get
he takes me
down the stairs
i wonder
whos hiding there
when i lose him
i lose myself
when i lose him
i am so scared
boys dont cry
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2. |
Gladness
03:31
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ill take a big step, ill let this one hurt me
been feeling regret, my feelings alert me
i take a deep breath, i dont wanna worry
but something about this situation distrbs me
its been so long since i last cried
and i forgot my alibi
i know my words arent making sense
but i was stripped of confidence
when memories were coming back
i almost had a heart attack
my heart it bends and never breaks
id be so lost without mistakes
feeling lost and youre upset
i think of times i was content
my head it splits i take it back
i never got away from that
if loneliness was my worst fear
my thoughts and mind would disappear
a drop of blood runs down your cheek
my lungs collapse i fail to speak
you take away
the things i say
if heaven hurts
id be okay
i dont know
either of us
know who to trust
no one was hurt
no one was hurt
nothing was lost
i take a deep breath
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3. |
I Go
02:56
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ive been wasting all my time
on you and me
i burnt so much
thinking why
do i have to be this way
is this forever now
am i stuck inside
an empty place
and i go
i go wherever im needed
ive been using all my time
on healing me
i ask god for
a reason why
is there quiet in this place
am i alone or not
what i see
is it real
and i go
i go wherever im needed
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4. |
Seventeen
03:23
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i will try to find my place
seventeen again
i wait for someone else to take my place
where i am is not my home
in my head i am so scared
mom will you please just take me home
because you have to understand
there are things i cannot say
things that you just cant understand
think of when you were my age
this fear is unique
i guess it happens when you are my age
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5. |
Smooth
02:58
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smoke mixed with steam
it's the way they move
it feels like a dream
and it feels so smooth
and it's nice
like a cannonball on ice
cracks always spread
to the corner of the room
that's when she said
that you'll meet your doom
just let it pass
and swear to god it makes you laugh
into the sun
where angels play their game
and who's gonna tell
when you make mistakes
now they're gone
it's just you and your secret bond
and when you talk about it
can you live without it
is it a joke you tell
it sends you straight to hell
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6. |
Swimming
03:52
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like a bird
like a tree
like something swimming inside of me
never bends
i cant tell
where i begin and where the pain ends
i wanna save this one for you
i wanna lie i wanna tell the truth
i wanna die and then live again
take me off
let it breathe
the cut is open so i can see
im off work
ill see you
we lie together like lovers do
take a second
to rest your head
my secrets smile under my bed
im in control
but i cant see
i wait for everything to swallow me
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7. |
Diamond
02:32
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do you think things have gone too far
theres a piece of coal in my heart
one day it will shine so bright
youll just have to deal with me tonight
diamond
children will make memories here
all that i remember is fear
do you recall a cool damp place
my chest is running out of space
diamond
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8. |
Fort Worth
01:32
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i wanna get away from all this shit
from all my friends
i don't care anymore
there is nothing
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9. |
Lushx2
01:36
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so many things have stayed the same
i went to my hometown
and nothing else had changed besides your face
besides your face
they tore down the theater
i hear theyre building condos
well jokes on them because i kept my key
i kept my key
everything still feels the same
i thought that i could fix it
with five years and a trip to blue hawaii
to blue hawaii
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10. |
No Weather
02:12
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all the days feel the same
and i still smile when i see your face
there is no weather for me
i feel safe in my skin
and i wait for a new day to begin
there is no weather for me
when its cold outside and its warm within
and i go there and start again
i think that i can be your friend
there is no weather for me
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11. |
Open Arms
01:50
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saying my last goodbyes to you at the house
i keep checking my phone to distract myself from how i feel about this loss. ive never had to deal with a loss like this and i dont know what death means to me. im coming up with something as we go along but i still have questions. when i was a kid i worried that when we die we just sit in our bodies and i was afraid of being trapped in a box forever so i didnt want to be buried, i would rather just be laid out in a field somewhere.
i watch your legs shake as you get up from bed and whine. you dont even like food anymore, youre in a lot of pain. this is the last day ill ever get to spend time with you. i asked mom if i could have some pictures of the two of us together to keep and look at. i havent seen you much the last year or two, i dont know if that makes this easier or not. i dont know if my age makes this easier or if i should have been prepared for something like this. this really puts some things in my life into perspective yknow? im so upset about the dumbest things all the time and death is this ultimate thing that everyone has to face and now its happening to someone i care about so much. im gonna miss you
just took you outside to take your last shit in the yard. you can still run sort of but it looks funny. its so fucking hot outside
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12. |
Open Spaces
02:32
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